Openness

I'm not sure if that's the correct spelling, or if 'openness' is even a proper word. But it's something that's really been on my heart lately. One thing (of many) that really frustrates me is secretiveness, and I'm absolutely convinced that less of it - and consequently more openness - would solve a lot of the problems in our society. I'm constantly shocked at how much of their thoughts or feelings people will try to hide. I can only wonder how much more is hidden that we can't even detect. What frustrates me even more is that more often than not, these people don't really even have a good reason for hiding their thoughts! Maybe they do it because that's the way they've always done it, or because their family did it and they followed suit - however, the most common 'reason' seems to be that they will not volunteer extra information to someone unless the other person does it to them first. This just creates a bad case of circular reasoning; "I won't do it unless s/he does it and s/he won't do it unless I do it." So many people are left wondering what their friends, acquantaintances, and even family members are thinking just because they aren't open enough with each other! Imagine the problems this causes in their relationships. I can hardly think of something worse than 'friends' not being able to share with each other everything they're thinking.

Which brings me to another reason (which is relievingly more reasonable than the others) for lack of openness - the fear of offending someone. While there are a few people who can (and will) take offense very easily, I believe that the vast majority of people will respond very well to honest and genuine openness. The very fact that you care enough about your relationship with the person to bring up a topic like being open with each other should be enough to convince the friend that your intentions are sincere.

It's interesting being able to hear about people's own experiences with this. Half the people I see are convinced that if they told their friends what they really thought, they might take offense. The other half think that their friends are hiding things from them, creating a kind of barrier in the relationship. See the problem?

I happen to know quite a few people who are very open and will not hesitate to tell you exactly what they think, be it good or bad. Even though I am not particularly close to any of these people, I feel so much more comfortable when I'm around them, because I know that they aren't hiding anything from me. Besides, if I have a fault (and I know that I have plenty!) I really want to know about it so I can do something to fix it! Personally, I can't see any benefits from people not being open with me. I guarantee that you would find it pretty much impossible to offend me if you speak in genuine sincerity.

So here's your chance to tell me anything you've always been afraid to say before. If you've already told me everything (blessings to you!) but you'd like to hear my honest thoughts, please send an email anyway, mentioning this, and I would be delighted to oblige. I'd also like to encourage you to be open with all your other friends, acquaintances, and family members, and I guarantee that the relationships will be the better for it. Of course, I should mention that we can't do everything (or anything!) with our own power, and it is only with God's help that we will ever be able to solve any problems.